Lord, help me to make time for your this Advent

We are all seeking the meaning of our lives.

"The days are coming" when God will visit his people (Jeremiah 33:14)

I bought "Brother John" by August Turak. It's a beautifully illustrated and thought provoking writing on "The Meaning of Life." Mr. Turak writes about his encounter with Brother John at the Mepkin Abbey. He details how at the end of a long day and evening, it began to rain and Mr. Turak was ready to run out into the rain to get to the next building. Instead, Brother John was standing under an umbrella ready to escort him to his building. This was the capstone moment in his observations of
Brother John, who he descried as the Abbey's foreman with oversight of the several thousand acres  of buildings, machinery, and a farm with 40,000 chickens. He is always shorthanded and constantly jumps in as some critical spot.  He "lights up" when he sees Mr. Turak and humbly thanks him for helping out with the eggs. Mr. Turak is amazed by his "humility, Irish good humor and gentleness that "never fades or even frays."

Mr. Turak "Of course my obsession (with Brother John) had nothing to do with the fact that he was a monk and I was not. On the contrary, Brother John was fascinating precisely because I intuited that to live as he did, to have his quiet peace and effortless love, had nothing to do with being a monk and was available to us all.

But Brother John was also terrible because he was living, breathing witness to my own inadequacies. Like Alkibiades in Plato's Symposium, speaking of the effect Socrates had on him, I had only to picture Brother John under his umbrella to feel as if "life is not worth living the way I live it." I was terrified that if I ever did decide to follow the example of Brother John, I would either fail completely or, at best, be faced with a life of unremitting effort without Brother John's obvious compensations. I imagined dedicating my life to others, to self-transcendence, without ever finding that inner spark of eternity that so obviously made Brother John's life the easiest and most natural life I had ever known. Perhaps his peace and effortless love were not available to all, but only to some. Perhaps I just didn't have what it takes.

We are all seeking the meaning of our lives. Mr. Turak writes of his discussion with Father Christian at the abbey about Brother John and Fr. Christian calls him a saint. He then goes on to tell of a protestant minister friend who was leaving his ministry and Father later learned from the minister's wife that the minister was having an affair. Fr Christian said, "You know, you can call it original sin; you can call it any darn thing you want to, for that matter, but, deep down inside, every one of us knows something's twisted. Acknowledging that fact, refusing to run away from it, and deciding to deal with it is the beginning of the only authentic life there is. All evil begins with a lie. The biggest evil comes from the biggest lies, and the biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves. And we lie to ourselves because we're afraid to take ourselves on."

Fr. Christian gave the following quote from Pascal to Mr. Turak: "You would not seek Me if you had not already found Me, and you would not have found Me if I had not first found you."

 "We must commit to facing our doubts, limitations, and self-contradictions head-on, while holding onto this voice of eternity."  This eternal voice is urging us to take a chance on an unknown outcome in much the same way that nature's voice urged a friend to take a chance on a new life. The friend had continued to refuse having children because he would lose his freedom and money. He finally said yes and entered an entirely rewarding world of love beyond imagination. "We must fight distraction, futility, rationalization, and fatigue at every step." "We must resolve to act decisively, while trusting in the aid of something we don 't understand and can never predict. We must open ourselves up to the miraculous, to grace."

"Working toward this miraculous transformation, rebirth, or inner alchemy is the true purpose of life. This transformation is what the West calls "conversion" and the East "enlightenment," and is the fruit of our commitment to the authentically purposeful life that Father Christian described so well. It is the transformation that turns work into effortless privilege, makes the unnatural values of Brother John second nature, and proves that the answer to the monks' last prayer each night at Compline for a "restful night and a peaceful death" is eternally ours. And when we're ready Brother John will be waiting for us, eager to share this miraculous umbrella. Like him, we will be utterly grateful for who we have become, remorseful for who we were, and compassionate towards those who do not understand."

"Make someone happy, once you have found her, you will be happy too." Sung by Jimmy Durante as I write this.

Prayer after communion for today's mass:
May these mysteries, O Lord,
in which we have participated,
profit us, we pray,
for even now, as we walk amid passing things,
you teach us by them to love the things of heave
and hold fast to what endures
Through Christ our Lord. AMEN

Being in love with God in the following words:

More I See You

Buddy Greco

Each time I look at you is like the first time
Each time you're near me the thrill is new
And there is nothing that I wouldn't do for
The rare delight of the sight of you for

The more I see you, the more I want you
Somehow this feeling just grows and grows
With every sigh I become more mad about you
More lost without you and so it goes

Can you imagine how much I love you?
The more I see you as years go by
I know the only one for me can only be you
My arms won't free you, my heart won't try

I know the only one for me can only be you
My arms won't free you, my heart won't try

Songwriters: Mack Gordon / Harry Warren

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